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Do You Know Your CBA’s?

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Have you ever been on your way to a gig, when the police and their portamento cries pull-over your tour-car, and force your band to perform all manner of hazing rituals and musical games? Musicians and civilians alike are expected to recite things never learned by rote, or learned at all—retrograded songs, inverted childhood concepts—and all the while, maintaining bodily integrity.

Well, hold on there officer, I’ve got a mnemonic device in the glove.

Here’s your ABC’s in reverse. Of course, it may be incriminating if you sing the colloquial sections backwards.

“The Reversed Alphabet Song”

♬ ♬ ♬ “Me, with play you won’t time next, C’s, B A, My know I now. Z ,and Y, X, Double U, V, UTS, RQP, ONMLK, JIHG, FEDCBA.” ♬ ♬ ♬


So when you reverse the above song, you’ll hear the familiar tune to “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star”.

“The Reversed Reversed Alphabet Song”


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The “Alphabet Song” and “Twinkle, Twinkle” are all based on the same folk melody written by…get this: Fuckin’ Mozart!

Next time your band gets pulled over, why not subject the cops to a breath test of your own—a “Hold-Your-Breath-The-Longest” Test!

Because of your melodic inversions and lung capacity, I’m letting you boys off with a warning. Rock on. And rock safe.

(And if you couldn’t get enough, here’s the original…)