Everyone’s favorite megacorp (but nobody’s favorite network), Amazon, uses a throwback chime for their original productions. NBC used real chimes back in the day, but now it’s all digitally created by some EDM nerd on a DAW, or maybe by the Almighty AI Itself.
As far as chimes go, the Amazon chimes are top-tier. It’s the kind of thing that could go on a church. I’m a bit biased towards the major seventh chord. I must admit I became obsessed with them for a while after my rebellious diminished seventh phase. The first bloggy I ever wrote was on the so-called “Chord of Love.” Jazz musicians wrote so many major sevenths they started to abbreviate them as “Δ7,” and eventually just “Δ.”
Click on the video below to be reminded of all the forgettable shows you’ve binge-watched for the last few years.
A light G major seventh stirs the pot in the background as the high 7th begins the phrase. Down we go (like the chillest doorbell) to the 3rd, up to the 5th (because where else are you gonna go?), and resolving on another 3rd an octave higher. It almost primes you for something good. Maybe if it appeared post-credits, you’d be convinced you had watched something good. But alas, it’s all cliché agitprop made by people who hate you.
Let’s compare it to the mother of all corporate chimes from NBC, whose spirit animal is a peacock—a pretentious animal that only glamps as wild.
The NBC chimes were obviously copied from the infamous bell song, “Westminster Quarters,” because we don’t hear that enough times a day already. Perhaps the ad wizards were trying to evoke that cozy feeling you get when waking up early on your day off and heading over to church.
Without even a commercial jingle (or making any profit for a decade), the humble online bookseller attained monopoly on all goods, hearts, and minds. Luckily, my boys at Ball in the House got you covered. I’d make some joke about grown men singing made-up corporate jingles, but honestly, I’m actually super jealous. I wish I had bros like this to sing with. I’ll never reach my full potential as a musical nuisance without a middle-aged a cappella group.
Newfriends can’t major seventh.
Δ
Δ Δ
