The new Windows 8.0 sound scheme is an F major 7th—the popular FACE chord. Every alarm, ding, and orchestra hit error sound that once rang true to their namesake, has been replaced with a suite of electronic dance samples. I guess it’s the future, or something.
The Critical Stop Sound is now a D Minor 9th Chord—the relative minor of the computer key of F Major. This Chord includes the F maj 7th face-chord inside of it. Click on the noteheads below to listen.
Compare this with the old Critical Stop Sound. A simple C octave. Such authority! The octave let’s you know your shit’s fucked up. The new Win-8 D Min-9 critical chord is so subtle, most people will disregard it as schizophonic ambiance, no different than the false ringtones heard arpeggiating out of ubiquitous buttocks.
Epilogue:
The American telephone system is in F Major. And now, Windows Eight. It’s like we’re living in Super Mario Brothers Land, except in F Major. There is a conspiracy for harmonic homogeneity in America, to unite us under a single key. Let these fancy jazz chords serve as a warning, just as they were intended.
“The man dies in all who keep silent in the F-A-C-E of tyranny.”
—William Shakespeare (emphasis mine)
So grab your google glasses, strap on your wintops, and step into the future!
