In the late ’80s, the Soviet mind game Tetris invaded American shores. I was busy ducking under a desk for weekly air-raid drills in the basement of my elementary school. You see in those days, it was the right-wing conservatives who were hyping the Soviet threat. Now everything’s flip-flopped and it’s the libs who see Russian bots everywhere, possibly even this blog.
Though there were earlier computer versions, Tetris found its home on the new handheld Nintendo Game Boy. I used to be called a nerd and other non-PC terms for carrying this giant grey brick around in public that was the size of an ’80s cellphone. Now it’s my boomer parents who can’t get enough of their smartphones, while I sit and stare into space. Apparently, even the Earth’s poles will flip-flop some day.
When you get a tetris in Tetris, you’re treated to an SFX that is distinctly Russian in tone. It’s the type of sound that really shouldn’t be notated, but I went ahead and did it anyway. Score should be an octave higher, but it’s easier to see this way.
It begins with a couple of bell-like tones, grace notes of high C’s and quavers of G’s, followed by a sawtooth bending up and then down. An extremely satisfying SFX that sounds like rubbish being cleared, like some Brutalist building being knocked over. A tenuous connection is being made here between the game of tetrominoes, the blocky architecture of the Soviets, and the eventual fall of their empire.
A couple years after Tetris came out, the Soviet Union would collapse with the help of Western institutions and Russian oligarchs. The Russian state head with the state-shaped birthmark on his head appeared in Pizza Hut commercials. Nintendo the yakuza-front successfully litigated their way to the top of the videogame empire. Most everyone forgot about Russia, until an old dusty scapegoat was needed.
Speaking of goats, the other popular SFX from Tetris is the game-over sound, which sounds just like a goat bleating in Bb. It is a harsh and mocking tone that probably qualifies as a jump-scare. Click below to be reminded of your past failures.
As the popular adage goes, “If Tetris has taught me anything, it’s that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear.”
