What happens to a man who’s exhausted every musical pleasure available to him? When he’s digested every possible piece of Pop and Prog, regurgitated centuries worth of progressions and melodies, what becomes of him? Such is not a man, but a dissonant shell of his former self. So lately, I’ve been into this dark little […]
Archive of posts tagged Chords
Favorite Chords
A man’s favorite chord can change throughout his life, but finding one is about as rare as falling in love. Of course, there are thousands of chords out there, and in a way I love them all just the same. In my teens, I was infatuated with Diminished chords, the ugly formation of minor thirds […]
Major Laugh Made Ya Laugh
People in the 40’s used to laugh in major keys. Man’s guffaws and woman’s’ cackles were tuned to each other―an octave apart―and the glee of their sons and daughters lol’d like a pop choir. But those were jazzier times then, when it was okay for boys to laugh like birds, and girls to cry like […]
The God Chord
I heard there was a secret Chord, that David played, and it pleased the Lord. Behold! The God Chord. It has all the notes; the Gamut. To play it, or any of the 11 Sacred Inversions is forbidden, but here it is anyway. Just drag over the colored unstemmed noteheads. Men are flat. Women are […]
How to make a Musical Funny
Mozart wrote a song called Leck mich im Arsch or ‘Lick me in the asshole’, a minute long song for six male voices―castrati preferred. He also loved ‘farted on‘ jokes. The oldest recorded joke from Sumeria is of this style. Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in […]
Devils in Love―The Major Seventh Augmented Fourth Chord
Hey there friends. I’m feeling colloquial today, and downright anthropomorphic too. What do you say we leave behind all that non-human music for a while? And take a look at a snippet of some pure absolute holy humane musical holophones―not even sound really, just an idea that sings in your mind’s ear. I’ll use the […]
