Modern life is full of obnoxious sounds—ambient noise, schizophonia, and industrial music—but there is one sound so nasty that it cuts through all of them, which is kind of the point. Of course, we’re talking about the iPhone’s default alarm sound, known as “Radar.” Did somebody drop a penny down the drain? Did the world’s […]
Archive of posts tagged corporations
TikTok Outro Sound
TikTok is the latest spyware that all the kids are cuckoo for. You can see every kind of degeneracy on it, from prepubescents twerking in dishabille to fully-grown adults twerking in scrubs, although it’s still not as bad as YouTube with its vibrant monkey-torture community. Every platform is pretty uniform these days; they’re all TikTok. […]
Amazon Chime
Everyone’s favorite megacorp (but nobody’s favorite network), Amazon, uses a throwback chime for their original productions. NBC used real chimes back in the day, but now it’s all digitally created by some EDM nerd on a DAW, or maybe by the Almighty AI Itself. As far as chimes go, the Amazon chimes are top-tier. It’s […]
Oatly Jingle
Companies have become so lazy, they don’t even produce jingles anymore. They just score them out on the side of their product and expect you to grab three of your friends from the barbershop to make it audible. As you can see, there is no play button on this package so if you want to […]
The G6 Conspiracy
As the government spends billions of public funds trying to blackmail you into getting an experimental shot, everyone and their grandma is now a shill, and some celebrities are having fun with it. Mariah Carey posted this video to her Instagram recently and I’ve bothered to notate it. There is a popular “conspiracy theory” that […]
Corporate Melodies
How do corporations rule the world when corporations rule the world? Why, with simple melodies played on idiophones like the hand chimes pictured left. Germans call them “ohrwurm,” meaning earworm. A catchy song crawls inside our ever-open ears like a musical parasite and lays egg-songs in our brains. There is no more insidious melody on […]
