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Never Jam After Midnight

Once in an eternity, a mogwai comes along with a voice of silver and a heart of gold. Most of his kind are shady Chinese spirits who suffer midnightly cravings and a bad case of aquaphobia. They certainly can’t whistle Dixie and play little keyboards in key. Fully acculturated, Gizmo sings a C# Major folk melody in a seemingly I → IV chord progression.

But like the secret trickster he is, Gizmo withholds the tonic C# from his song, yet it is implied in the tonality. If Billy Peltzer was a better musician (or worse), he might have played these chords (with a capo of course), in a kind of interspecies jam. Try it out on the widgets above and below.

Here is a short clip where Gizmo teaches Billy his song.

It seems Billy wants to make Gizmo’s song Lydian here. Instead of an F#, he mistakenly hits a G. That’s ok, mogwai have perfect pitch.

Upon metamorphosis, they lose all sense of music and morals. In the clip below, they can barely sing their own Rag as they terrorize the elderly Mrs. Deagle.

Everyone knows reptiles can’t sing! Only mammals can sing baby!

A lone a last a loved a long the Lydian

The Lydian Scale is a lovely scale indeed, reserved for pre-choruses, or to evoke the silly sounds of a circus, and often employed by hollywood composers for alien song, because we all know the universe has been socialized with music, as per Close Encounters and Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Let’s take a look and a listen at this scale, to see why it’s so suited for carnival, cosmos, and the feeling of languishing a lone in love.

The Lydian scale is like a Major Scale with a Sharped Fourth. To make C Major into C Lydian, we simply sharpen the F to an F#. Like so:


If you drag over the G enough, you will notice that the C Lydian Scale is actually a G Major Scale in disguise. Moving the Root note of a major scale will produce different scales known as The Seven Sacred Modes, named after ancient Greek tribes. Thus, the Fourth Mode of G Major (the Ionian Mode) is C Lydian.

If a song resolves on G Ionian, its tonality might suggest the C Lydian Scale, but ultimately the G will win out, and be declared king of the key. After all, both are strong sturdy Major Scales, with only a single tone difference.

It is difficult to really hold down Lydian and not let it spill over into its relative Major Key. To achieve this end, we must imply the C Root often enough, and make use of altered chords that are specific to the Lydian Scale. One such chord is called the Lydian Chord. It’s basically a C Major chord with a B Minor chord on top.


If you click on the Play button, it will suspend the chord forever, a pedal point for eternity. This is one easy way to make sure Lydian stays Lydian. If you scroll back up, and take a little solo on the C Lydian Scale, you will hear how even excessive G Major noodling will ultimately resolve back to the C Root.

Suspension is one way to pull off a stable Lydian environment, but composers often rely on the classic Lydian progression, a simple I to II, doh to ray.


Most Lydian Pop Music will make use of this Chord Progression to capture the Lydian spirit. Michael Jackson’s “Wanna Be Startin’ Something” and Jane’s Addiction’s “Jane Says” are two such examples from recent history. (See the Lydian Songs Listing at the bottom of this article.) By withholding the natural resolve of these chords to G Major, an unconscious longing is created in the listener, much like the feeling of unrequited love.

But to really represent Lydian tonality, we must make good use of altered chords. If we stack the chords of a Lydian Scale in Third intervals, we will be left with the familiar Major Minor chords. If we instead stack the chords in intervals of a Fourth, we can evoke the eerie cosmic sound of Lydian tonality.


All of the extra dissonance actually strengthens the ambiguity of this scale and gives more weight to the C Root. There’s no chance of that pesky G usurping the tonality here.

Without any harmonic context, the Lydian key can still be expressed within the notes of a melody. Take for instance, “The Simpsons Theme” by Danny Elfman. Lydian is often used in Elfman’s music to evoke the playful Burtonesque carnival it is scored to.


Heavy use of the Lydian Sharp 4th―the “fah of fah”―makes the tonality of the above melody apparent. It is clearly C Lydian and not G Ionian, further accentuated by the inclusion of the dominant 7th (the B-flat) at the end of the melody. This shows off the silly side of Lydian. To learn more about the dark mystical side of Lydian, read Devils in Love―The Major Seventh Augmented Fourth Chord.

Do you know any good Lydian songs? Just let us know in the comments!

Lydian Songs:

“Blue Jay Way”, The Beatles (C Lydian with heavy diminished chords.)
“Kissing the Lipless”, The Shins (B Lydian)
“How I Miss You”, Foo Fighters (C# Lydian)
“Jane Says”, Jane’s Addiction (Classic G Lydian)
“Momentary Lapse of Reason”, Pink Floyd (G Lydian Riff)
“Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough”, Michael Jackson. (A Lydian or B Mixolydian.)
“Wanna Be Startin’ Something”, Michael Jackson (D Lydian)
“Man in the Mirror”, Michael Jackson. (The End Section is a suspended C# Lydian.)
“Here Comes My Girl”, Tom Petty. (Verses are in A Lydian, but resolve to the relative E Ionian.)
“The Simpsons Theme”, Danny Elfman. (Many Lydian Switcheroos)
“Suicide Machine”, Hum (C Lydian)
“Stay Out of Trouble”, Kings of Convenience (Norwegian Lydian)
“Hole-Hearted”, Extreme. (Just the Intro. Worth it.)
“Cathedrals”, Jump Little Children. (D Lydian. Will make you cry.)
“Reba”, Phish (Ultimate Lydian Jam [in Eb])
“Karnov”, Nintendo Entertainment System (Ab Lydian to B Lydian)
“Tearing in my Heart”, Sunny Day Real Estate (The Best. A Lydian all the way!)

Los Doggies Lydian:
Tackleberry (Classic Lydian Chord Progression of D Major to E Major is beefed up with Add Nines)
Onebody (Opening verses feature the A Lydian Chord)
At Moonrise (A to B)
A demo song inspired by this post:

Los Crazies

Many a composers have walked these halls of hallucinations, guided by voices, consumed by musical madness, opened the doors of delusion, where everything disappears to man as it ain’t (still infinite), and beheard the sick psychedelic song at the center of the universe looping back in their mind’s ear, screaming like tinnitus and beating like bruits, humming like the homunculus in your head, or the brain-burrowing earworm who lays her catchy egg-songs and sinks her hooks into you, be it angelic air or demonic dirge, it eventually pollutes the conscious stream, disenchants the loom, and lest it consume them entirely and derail their train of thought, they set about lickety-quick in little black dots and white lines to denote the crazy chords and insane intervals that call out from beyond the yellow wallpaper, swarming the scores like silent spiders who peep back through the dark glassy eyes of God.

The most famous case of musical madness is found in Romantic composer Robert Schumann. He wrote in his diary about being constantly assaulted by a high A5. It’s possible his head tone was actually a chronic tinnitus, though it may have been another type of auditory hallucination related to his mental illness. Here’s a simulation of the note, that among other hauntings, drove Schumann mad.




Annoying aye? Schumann was also greeted by singing telegrams from the spirit realm. The ghosts of Mendelssohn and Schubert dictated a melody to him one crazy night, forgetting that he himself had composed it earlier, and wrote it into the Violin Concerto [1], which was left unplayed for a hundred years, until during a séance held by the grand-nieces of the violinist it was written for, the ghost of Robert Schumann appeared and ordered the work to be recovered from the Prussian State Library, and abiding world copyright laws, be performed, for the first time ever, in Germany.

Schumann attempted suicide by drowning himself in the Rhine, and when rescued jumped from the boat to drown himself again. He died soon after in an asylum.

Composers have to cool out sometimes, just to fend off the crazies. They gotta take a bath, or go play a game of Go. Maybe even make some love.

Whose the loneliest artist after all? The musician holds her instrument tight like a lover, and the painter falls for her own portrait. Writers have their wee fictional characters, sitting atop their shoulders at all times. But the composer is always alone, holed up inside their heads, moving melodies about, shifting rhythms around, structuring scraps of songs for years on end, singing to themselves like madmen and women.

Personal Aside:
These three black stemmed noteheads will make you mad. They whisper dark secrets about you. They are most certainly allying themselves with neighboring noteheads of other measures, and will eventually turn the whole score [2] against you. Their synesthesia makes you sick. Their sounding upon MIDI strings is like a cat organ, plucking catgut, vibrating in sympathy with the devil. Drag over if you dare!




And you ain’t the only one who thinks so. The flatted fifth interval between the E and Bb are known as a tritone, or ‘Diabolus in Musica’ (the Devil in Music). Schumann got off lucky, with his convenient Concert A tuned hallucination.

Yet you employ the unholy triad at every turn, in Japanese Insen, and Half-Whole keys. You flip two birds at their evil alliance, and play them forte, and often. You even listen to their hit songs like King Crimson’s “One More Red Nightmare” [3]. Because, just because…

Because, like the church composers always complain, “Why should the Devil have all the best tunes?”

crazy drummer boy

Shine on crazy diamonds!

Notes:
[1] Violin Concerto, Schumann, Robert.
[2] “Bring Me To Supper”, Anima MIDI. (Crazies happen at 0:59.)
[3] “One More Red Nightmare”, King Crimson. (God-awesome.)

All Hail the Holy Half Whole


Chucky and Petrushka: Minions of the Octatonic

There is one scale that is so deliciously evil, it hasn’t been heard for an hundred years. It goes by many names ― Octatonic (for its eight tones), Symmetric (for its perfect triadic symmetry), Diminished (for its Twin Diminished Keys), and Synthetic (for its artificial origins). This scale is so evil, it makes babies cry in the womb. Rather than soothe, it further enrages the savage beast. The harmonies of hell are thus attuned, and it is the tonality most favored by possessed dolls. The ancients dubbed it “the Devil’s Pearls”, and fearing it, they banished it from Pop Music forever. To you and I, it is simply “Half Whole”.




Half-Whole
Named after its intervals, the Half-Whole Scale jumps up alternating half and whole tones, splitting the Octave into 4 equal parts. This division creates 4 symmetrical Tonics (C Eb F# A), stabilized with Perfect Fifths (G Bb Db E), that can be harmonized as either Major or Minor, and are surrounded by Diminished chords.

Octave = 12
Half = 1, Whole = 2
Half + Whole = 3
12 / 3 = 4 Tonics
Major chords = 4
Minor chords = 4
Diminished Chords = 8


Major and Minor
Major and Minor Chords represent the continuum of pop music, evoking the happy and sad with their Major and Minor Thirds, respectively. But look out, because Half-Whole has got Major and Minors everywhere, incestuously sitting in the same spot, stuck on the same degree.


Too much Major and Minor renders the Half-Whole Scale rather silly and tiresome. Taken out of their usual tonalities, these Major and Minor Chords come off as ambiguous and affectively flat. Dissonances and consonances run together in one sinister stream ― a disenchanted loom that snuffs consciousness into dissciousness.


Diminished Chords
Somewhere in between Major and Minor, or perhaps ever below them, is the Diminished Chord, composed entirely of Minor Thirds. The Half-Whole Octatonic Scale has Eight Diminished Chords, one on every degree. How awful!




Don’t they sound just like Possessed Sugar Plums?




Minor Thirds consist of 3 Half Steps (a whole and a half) and are known as the Sad Tone, but in this context it is perhaps best to call them the Mocking Tone. Children use Minor Thirds to mock each other in “Nana Nana Poo Poo” and adults sing “Ass-Hole” at sporting events in Minor Third intervals. A scale made of Minor Thirds is called a “Diminished Scale” and forms the basic harmonic division of the Half-Whole Scale. Behold the mocking potential of the Twin Diminisheds!


Tritones
Add two Minor Third intervals together and you get what is known as the Tritone, or “Devil’s Tone” (6 Half Steps). The Tritone is an oft-used musical dissonance, heard frequently in Metal, and anytime musicians need to call upon the Dark Forces [1]. Once again, the Half-Whole Scale has got way too many of ’em.


As per half-whole symmetry, there are numerous Major and Minor Tritone possibilities. Below is the Classic Evil Rock Chord Progression ― two Major Chords a tritone apart.


Stack these chords on top of each other and you get the “Petrushka Chord” used by Igor Stravinsky to accompany the murderous puppet in his ballet Petrushka. [2]






The 7 Sacred Modes
The Half-Whole Scale, in its bloated Octatonality, encompasses the Seven Modes in incomplete bastardized forms. Trapped inside an Half-Whole prison, they scream out to be heard, but they are deformed and barley recognize their own voice. They have become monster modes.





Each of the modal flavors is hinted at ― Ionian firmness, Dorian coolness, Phrygian darkness, Lydian silliness, Mixolydian funkiness, Aeolian sadness, and Locrian mysticism.

In Pop Music
As a musical device, the reverse scale ― the Whole-Half Scale ― is found in many modern songs. One such example is found in the opening guitar lick of the Radiohead song Just.

“Just” by Radiohead





This song showcases the sparing use of the Half-Whole Scale as described by the old masters, who thought it trite and tacky to make a whole song based on it. Few bands are stupid enough to dare to try to frame that fearful symmetry.

Shameless Epilogue Plug:
The Los Doggies song “Hey Kids” features heavy use of Half-Whole trickery to evoke the psychedelic sickiness of American childhood.

Notes:
[1] The Dark Book, Sacrifix.
[2] Petrushka, Igor Stravisnky.

Oh! Oh! Canada! Canada!

This little bird has a big song. He double-tracks the melody like John Lennon in his syrinx. It’s so loud, you can easily pick him out of your local biophony―other oscine song, insectival drone, and mammalian utterances―high up in the Seventh Octave, comfortable in his perch above Middle C. Ornithologists have even set nationalistic lyrics to his migrant song. Click on the score to play. Drag over the guitar tab to hear the approximate key in Equal Temperament.




White-throated Swallow Down One Octave



The White-throated Swallow roughly sings a Perfect Fourth (E), down a semitone to a Major (D#) Third, and down a major third to the Root (B). The classic acoustic chord B Major (add 11) will encompass all of these tones. In the slowed down version, you can clearly hear that the second note is sharp and doesn’t quite go down to the D# proper. Thus, the Sparrow’s Major Third is a lot larger than our modern interval, and more akin to the ancient spacious Pythagorean Third. The feel of the song is swung, with the one presumably falling on the “Sweet” followed by triplets of “Canadas”.

A second song has yet to be given lyrics. Just like in “Oh Sweet Canada”, the tonality has a strong Major Third interval, except in the song below there is a Minor outro.



Firm. Happy. Awe. Happy. Sad. In that order. Doh. Me. Fa, Fa. Me, My, My, My. The Major/Minorness of this bird fits nicely within our urban soundscape. Major Thirds are found in bell song, car horns, door bells, telephones, and oh yeah, pop music. Major and Minor were locked away inside Music since the beginning of Time and Tone. Throughout the ages, Man and Bird helped each other to unravel the Secrets of the Harmonic Series.

The White-throated Sparrow’s wordless tune is a lot like the chicken’s cock-a-doodle-doo melody. They would make great incidental harmonies together.

Epilogue:
Apparently, birds have a Song Control System (SCS) hidden somewhere in the brain cells of their Consciousness (CNSC). Endless experiments may confirm the existence of a Musical Instrument Digital Interface (MIDI) and quite possibly the hotly pursued Selfy Self (SELF2).

Here’s a POV beakshot of a sparrow in full song.

Here’s a Boird Band cover of The White-Throated Sparrow.


ಠvಠ ♫

King of Off-Beat Samba Limbs

Occasionally, this blog is relevant―like really really relevant. Topical too. Like when a new Radiohead drops, and the hot new beats widget is up within the week!

Track 2 off King of Limbs is a syncopated little Mixolydian tune called “Morning Mr Magpie”. Here is a little loop of the first couple measures to give you the basic idea. (I trust the Head won’t begrudge these Doggies, as the entire album is up on youtube.)


“Morning Mr Magpie” Beat Loop

So here’s the breakdown of that fucked up farce of a 4/4 beat. Though there is really no bass drum in the song, a muted guitar taps the samba feel and the tonic throughout (as represented by the “kick” below). The hi-hats bounce along the off-beats (also called up-beats, or feminine beats) and often synch up with the kick drums. The snare drums strike alone on the 3’s and 4’s, as snare drums are wont to do in rock ‘n’ roll (isn’t it still?). The 3 and 4 are the classic “pah” of a boom-pah beat, or the “cats” in “boots & cats”. Believe it or not, there’s actually only one quaver rest (a 1/16 note of silence) in the whole beat, right in between the first two hi-hats.

Throw them all together and you get this crazy compin’ off-beat samba groove. Click on the score to turn on/off.

Try it on your laps at home if you dare, using the membranophones of your very own body.

Who needs songs when you got beats this good?

Blue Jays

The blue jays are back in town, at least here in my feathery nape of this hairy neck of the snowy woods. These birds are triple forte all the way, and down-right rocking too. Their eponymous call is a screamo-inflected “jaay-jaay” in Concert A.

They often bend down a whole tone to a G, as if being swept up in the Doppler winds. The scale of A Mixolydian (A B C# D E F# G), with its Dominant 7th (G), will work nicely with the blue jays calls. Follow this link, to hear how this bird might be played on guitar.

With his harsh hawk cries, guitar-licking wheedlelee’s, and tintinnabulating toolool toolool’s, the blue jay is a perfect candidate for a rocking tribute. To hear such a cover, head over to the Boird Band bandcamp site

Blue jays live by blue jay ways. They are often featured on Animal Television’s “Most Bad-Ass Bird” or what have you. They are known to chase cars like dogs, and steal kibble from dogs. While other birds are content to sing and whistle, blue jays shoot their beaks off all day.

They also appear in the first sentence of Vineland by Tommy Pynch in this particularly relevant passage, as some kind of metaphor or something.


Rock on bird-brains.